There are years that contain a lot of change. And then there are years when you completely uproot your life and throw everything up in the air to see where it lands.
In 2019, I applied to ten master of fine arts programs
I got accepted to all but one
I traveled to five cities to see schools
I marveled at cacti and sunsets and beautiful buildings
I visited old friends and made new ones
I found myself in traffic jams and strangers’ homes, on winding paths and rocky cliffs
I discovered people are open and kind if you give them a chance
I listened closely to my intuition
I trusted the process
At the end of it all, I decided not to attend
I got the last spot for two weeks at an art residency program in North Carolina and knew I had to go
I made sun prints and fire cider
I played spoons with strangers
I met three luna moths
I moved my body however I wanted to
I found mica in the river
I felt infinitely supported
I wove together yarn and flowers
I chose my own adventures
I fell in love
I learned to leap before I look
I quit my job and left for a summer trip to Europe
I visited nine countries and volunteered with five hosts
I drank wine and whiskey
I walked the streets of ancient cities, buried cities
I spent days in art museums and churches and gardens
I climbed hills and mountains
I swam in rivers and oceans
I sat with spirits in caves
I met builders and movers, artists and healers
I painted pictures in parks
I meditated with wise women on cliffs
I spent time with dear friends and said goodbye to say hello again
And at the end of it all, I flew home and went to sleep, waking up to ask myself how long I had been dreaming
Finally, I left a place I had called my lifelong home and drove until I saw mountains again, because moving had begun to feel natural and sitting still was no longer how I lived
Through it all, I stayed true to a lesson that was relayed to me early this year:
Stay light—
Carry only what you need
Don’t let yourself get weighed down
Don’t take anything too seriously
All of this I carry forward with me into a new year and new decade
making ⟷ meaning 